Our Lemonade Stand: Back to Life

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Back to Life

It's been a month since our vacation, and I think we are finally back to reality. For the first few weeks we were still on this crazy, Disney-induced high...the kids reliving every detail of the trip, looking at photos, maps, and begging to go back. We reluctantly settled back into our normal routines...therapy, T-ball, and work. And I was forced to re-visit the transition mess that I so gladly had left behind. It was still here...waiting. And now we have only 2 short weeks left with our team, before it all ends. Maddie's last evaluation is tomorrow. (this one's for the waiver qualifications) And I expect the IEP to be scheduled any day now. It's all happening so fast...and I've dreaded it for so long, and now that it's almost here, I just want to get it over with and move on. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of trying to prove my little girl needs their help, when deep down I really believe she can do anything. Yes, physically she's got limitations, and she is aware of them...which breaks my heart. But her spirit is more independent that anyone I've ever met. She will not settle. She doesn't quit. And she inspires me to do the same. I'm not sure what happens next for us. This road has taken me to a place I did not want to go...it's not comfortable. There's no safety net, and I'm scared. But maybe that's the point...Maybe I need to learn to trust more, and know that everything will still be ok...even if it doesn't go like I planned. I'm trying...I really am. I'm walking a fine line between acceptance, and kicking and screaming the whole way. It's not pretty. Thankfully, these kids make it so much better. Seeing them soaking up summer, and taking each day for the joy that it is, and the possibllity of what it could be...Helps me keep things in perpspective. It's all about them.